Susan Matthews

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Take Home Bartender

I've caught TLC's "Take Home Chef" a couple times. I'm not a cooking show fan, but this one has a fun premise. Saucy Aussie Curtis Stone hijacks unsuspecting ladies as they cruise the aisles at their local supermarkets. After a stop or two at specialty stores, he takes them back to their homes to cook up a delectable feast. His accent and charm spice up every dish.

Typically, an oblivious husband stumbles upon the scene just as the candles are lit and the temperature is rising. I'm quite sure a few of the mommies have prayed for traffic tie ups so that they could slurp their steamed mussels alone with Curtis. Three is a crowd when there's chocolate souffle with a melting chocolate center.

I watch hoping the show will devolve into some version of 9 1/2 weeks. But all I'm left with is cooking tips I will never employ. Do microwaved chicken nuggets taste good drizzled in white wine and lemon?

At the supermarket tonight, I hoped that a "Take Home Bartender" show would commandeer my cart and I would be forced to go home and sample martini recipes. It would be just like the movie "Cocktail" but in my kitchen and without Tom Cruise.

Left to my own devices, I've come up with a refreshing summer beverage sampler - Lychee martini (cocktail), Sancerre white wine (during dinner), Pastis (after dinner) and white tea (healthy and no alcohol). These pair nicely with any light dinner menu.

 
My Novel: Trying On Gigi Brigidi

Read the opener for my chick lit novel. GINA COLABELLI is a beautiful bitch on wheels and that's been working for her. She's got it all at age 27 - a great job in advertising, fabulous sex life and a swanky new town house. Then, it's all blown away. The father she never knew is about to turn state's evidence against a Philadelphia mob boss and her life is changed forever.


Chapter One

My cat is on fire. It's the first thought that sinks in as I sit dazed in my driveway. Fiery debris pelts the hood of my BMW as I absorb what just happened. I had pushed the garage door opener and BOOM! I am shaken to my core and my town home is engulfed in black smoke and flames.

I see Max with his flaming tail run by and it yanks me out of my shock. My cat is on fire! I throw my car into reverse and park on the street. Sprinting back to my house, I catch him as he darts by again.

Grade school fireman visits taught me one thing - drop and roll. Try that in a pencil skirt and three-inch heels with a frightened cat. Clutching Max tail side out, I drop to the ground and roll. Trying not to crush him, I roll through the pain of digging claws. I roll and roll across my tiny patch of lawn until his tail is extinguished and I'm looking at a pair of well-worn sneakers. Max hisses as I struggle to cling to him.

"You all right?" asks the middle-aged man wearing the sneakers.

He crouches down to help me up. He's the neighbor who jogs by my house every night just as I'm pulling in. I've never spoken to him. For that matter, I've never met any of my neighbors, who are now frantically gathering at a safe distance across the street. I've never even said hello to any of them - and that was intentional.

I grew up in South Philly, where the world is as big as your front stoop. Neighbors congregate on those concrete squares at the top of their steps every evening as garlic-laden aromas drift through the front door out to the street. As the gravy simmers inside, generous helpings of gossip are served outside. Everybody knows everyone else's personal business. That's exactly why I moved to Old City - anonymity. My new neighborhood's gentrification brought in a mix of suits and reclusive artists. Perfect for me. I'm not what you would call a people person.

Now, all eyes are on me as Neighbor Guy guides me across the street away from the choking fog of smoke and embers. Bystanders move in slow motion and everyone sounds like the grown ups in Charlie Brown. My senses slowly begin to return and the odor of scorched fur and burnt cashmere fills my nose as I survey the scene of destruction.


 
Pilot Script Teaser: ARCANA
TEASER
INT. THE CLOISTERS OF THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART - DAY
SUPER: New York City

LAUREL HURST, a young reporter for Archeology Digest, walks with curator BERNARD GREY, through the Late Gothic Hall of the Cloisters, a branch of the Metropolitan Museum of Art devoted to medieval European art and architecture.

Laurel tries to look older than 25 by pulling back her blonde hair and framing her big brown eyes with serious glasses. Dr. Bernard Grey, every bit the eccentric Ph.D., is thrilled for the chance to talk about his work with a pretty young woman.

DR. BERNARD GREY
We purchased the Tarot deck from a private collector in Milan. Individual cards exist here and there. But this deck is missing only one card. It's quite a find.
LAUREL
What's the significance of Tarot cards in relation to the your medieval collection?

DR. BERNARD GREY
With the Renaissance, Italy experienced a revival of ancient philosophy and mythology. Tarot cards were created at this time and within that context.

LAUREL
They were originally used for a game, not fortune telling, right?

DR. BERNARD GREY
Correct. The game was based on trump cards similar to Bridge. But it was still a mysterious game. There is much debate.

LAUREL
One theory said the cards were a coded collection of knowledge considered to be heresy. So it was concealed in a game because of the Inquisition.

DR. BERNARD GREY
(laughs)
Or, was it created by goddess-worshipping Gnostics who hoped to protect the bloodline of Jesus and Mary Magdalen? Sounds like the DaVinci Code. (beat) Those theories have been debunked.

Bernard leads Laurel up a flight of stone stairs and through a door marked for employees only. They enter an office where MILDRED, a matronly secretary, sits behind a desk.

DR. BERNARD GREY (CONT'D)
Mildred, this is Laurel Hurst from Archeology Digest. She's here about the Tarot cards.

MILDRED
(dry and distracted)
How nice. (beat) Dr. Grey, there are quite a few messages when you're through with Ms. Hurst.

LAUREL
(smiles as she passes Mildred)
Nice to meet you.

Mildred nods as she continues to work. Bernard leads Laurel into his private office and closes the door behind them. The dusty room is strewn with books, papers and interesting odds and ends. Through a portico window we see a Spring rain fall on Fort Tryon Park and the Hudson River.

DR. BERNARD GREY
(whispers)
Mildred's been here long enough to be an exhibit.

LAUREL
(smiles as she gets her note pad out)
The images, do they tell a story? An allegory?

DR. BERNARD GREY
(moves behind his desk)
Some historians say the images are based on an important love poem by Petrarch - I Triumphi.

LAUREL
Petrarch. I read about him.

DR. BERNARD GREY
Yes. Francesco Petrarch. He was considered a father of the Renaissance.

LAUREL
(jots down notes)
Got it.

DR. BERNARD GREY
Others believe the cards tell the story of Christian salvation. I hope our exhibit will do justice to their iconic genius. (beat)
I had them brought out. Why don't we take a look?

LAUREL
(eyes light up like a kid in a candy store)
I'd love to.

He opens his desk drawer and grabs a key. He uses it to open a large metal box on his desk. 

DR. BERNARD GREY V.O.
Our deck is one of the earliest. It was created around 1425 for Filippo Maria Visconti, the Duke of Milan.

As he carefully removes one large card from a protective layer, the office lights flicker on and off.

DR. BERNARD GREY
(chuckles)
Dramatic effects and all. Come see.

Laurel stands and moves closer to Bernard to examine the ornate and gilded card. It depicts a skeleton holding a scythe with a raven gliding nearby. Human heads litter the ground, while hands are emerging like plants.

LAUREL
The death card.

DR. BERNARD GREY
Symbolically speaking, it means transformation.

LAUREL
A major arcana card.

DR. BERNARD GREY
You've done your research. Arcana is from the Latin arcanum, meaning a mystery or secret.

LAUREL
Which card is missing?

DR. BERNARD GREY
The Lovers. (beat) Lost in time, I suppose.
A crack of thunder sounds and lightening illuminates the sky through the portico window.

INT. MUSEUM EXHIBIT HALLS - LATER THAT DAY
Laurel pauses when walking through an ornate portal door from the 1400s. She touches the door and appears to get a chill. Then she gazes at the Annunciation triptych.

EXT. MUSEUM - MOMENTS LATER
Laurel emerges from the museum into an evening rain. She pops her umbrella and walks briskly through the quiet park. Leaving the park, we see signs of city life again. Tall buildings, a playground and the subway entrance. Thunder booms as she passes by a darkened alley way.

An ominous MALE FIGURE lunges out and powerfully overtakes her from behind. We don't see his face. Only a small scream escapes her mouth as his large hand clamps over it. Lightening illuminates his ornate ring as he pulls her into the blackness of the alley.

END OF TEASER

 
Are You A Writer?
A writer spends the greater part of the day in loungewear and slippers, owns a cat (on lap) or a very lazy, large dog (next to feet), drinks coffee all day and wine in the evening. We would rather write than anything, but avoid writing by doing almost anything. Writers know that living out in the world provides content. However, we don't mind being reclusive for days on end. Writers cannot imagine a better life and we have great imaginations.
Recommended writer resources: Mediabistro.com; writersdigest.com; American Society of Journalists and Authors.
Duchess - my writing partner. She is a Siberian Forest Cat, a beautiful and hypo-allergenic breed.









Susan Matthews
site content copyright 2009 Susan Matthews